2:30 AM and I can't sleep.
So I decided to pester
you, Professor. I am so sick of the politics, I could chew up railroad
spikes and spit out BB shot. So, since the Missus, bless her,
is off on a group directorate thingy I'm without adult supervision. Thus
freed of direction, I decided to clean out my snake pit. In the past it was my
late son's room, but now it's my "Office," Armory and sporting
goods repository. As I was cleaning out the cardboard boxes I previously
could barely live without I found three Hudson Bay blankets I thought I'd lost. Interesting things Hudson Bay Blankets, they're still hand made. Woven mostly
in Scotland as a cottage industry, the way they were in the 1600s. I have
a bit of blanket before it would have been teased. It feels for all the world like
a piece of heavy cotton or linen canvas, about as soft and comforting as
plywood. The blankets start this way, but in pairs, end to end. Then they
are teased to make them soft and fluffy. The method is hard to describe but
uses a plant called a "teasel," a sort of thistle that is grown
specifically for teasing up the fibres on woolen blankets. The heads of
the teasel are placed in holders in a machine then the blanket is pulled
through until the operator decides it's fluffy enough. My blankets all
measure right on 5/16" thick. Several years ago I read that in
the long ago, hunters and soldiers would shelter under a lean to made of a
blanket while rolling up in another. Two men could thus keep warm and dry in
rainy conditions. One rainy Spring night about fifteen years ago I
tested the concept. It worked, I pitched a lean to of a Hudson Bay
blanket and slept rolled up in another. I was comfy and dry. The rain ran off the fluffy surface without soaking through. I think it's
because the wool was not washed entirely free of the natural "wool
fat" in it, we refer to wool fat as lanolin. Sheepherder's hands are
as soft as a baby's bottom from handling sheep.
An interesting thing
about Hudson Bay type blankets is that although they are heavy and thick, they
do not make the user overheat. I've slept under one during Summer when
the temperature in the house was over 80 F and felt as comfy as if I only
had a sheet on top of me. It kept the mosquitoes at bay, their proboscises
are shorter than the blanket is thick. During Winter, I'll use two and
feel very comfortably warm while having the heat in the house turned down and
the bedroom window open. The Missus took a few years to get used
to it, but she finally gave up. She did draw the line with some
"firmness" when I suggested we might get a buffalo robe to sleep
under. That idea nearly started a fight. I still think it's a good idea,
but I know when to quit.
I'm pretty sure my dog,
Bella has a dark and twisted sense of humor. She sneaks up on me,
lays down and feigns sleep. When she's sure I've fallen for her
nefarious ploy, she silently passes gas, then walks off looking back at me
with her ears held back and a beatific smile on her face. She has the vilest
gastric system of any animal on the planet and seems to know it. The stench is
startling, brings tears, makes me choke, and I think it is very
likely lethal in large enough doses. I wonder how long Pitbull
Terriers take to get past this "Teen age joke" stage. I swear I
can hear her snicker when she does it.
Tell me she doesn't look
guilty as sin.
See what happens when I
can't sleep. I bother people who haven't harmed me in the
least. I'm going to boil some water and brew a cup of licorice tea. That usually relaxes me enough to get to sleep.
Gerry
Note from KBJ: Gerry is a talented writer and doesn't even realize it. He reminds me of another Northwesterner: Barry Holstun Lopez.